Doing things differently since 1984
Usually, on this blog I like to drive home the point that I don’t know all the answers. Generally, this is true, but I am happy to report today that there are some oft-asked questions out there that I do know the answers to. Frankly, I’m a little tired of hearing these obvious questions being repeatedly asked without a real answer. So, if you are still among those seeking the truth, your quest is about to be completed!:
1. Is the glass half empty, or half full?
This question is supposed to have a variety of answers, based on your outlook on life. An optimist would supposedly say it’s half full, a pessimist would say it’s half empty, a realist would say it’s at the halfway mark, etc. Personally, I can’t see what all the fuss is about. If the glass was empty, it is now half full (been filled halfway); if the glass was full, it is now half empty (been emptied halfway). Simple.
2. Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
The chicken, obviously (or two chickens, really). That is, if you ascribe to the Creation theory. If your bets are hedged on Evolution, then the answer is neither – the jungle fowl came first.
3. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?
Yes. Obviously. We can know this through the wonderful human thought process known as inductive reasoning. Though I suppose if you found a good enough lawyer, you could create enough doubt to acquit the tree of its noise disturbance charges in court.
4. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
The answer is none. Wood chucks are yet another example of Americans not taking the time to listen, as their name is contrived from the Native American word “wuchak” for the same animal. Wood chucks are like groundhogs. They burrow. They have no need to throw wood around.
5. To be, or not to be?
To the vast majority of us, “to be” would be the answer to “the question” here. History has proven time and time again that even in the direst of circumstances, one of the most basic instincts of humanity is the will to survive.
6. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
One (or both) of them gets a definition change.
7. If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?Practice doesn’t make perfect. Whoever told you that was lying.
8. Why do bad things happen to good people? / Why does God let the bad things happen?
Because we live in a bad world. Wouldn’t the removal of free will be even worse?
9. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Probably either because there was food on the other side, or a predator on the same side. But that’s just a guess.
I hope that this clears up some confusion that seems to have been rolling around for quite some time. It feels good to have made my contribution to society today. Are there any that I missed? Do you have some more answers of your own?