abtwixt

Doing things differently since 1984

From Skyscrapers to Sesame Street

A great and radical thing is about to happen in my life… At the end of this week, I will abandon my promising career as a lifelong desk jockey to become a full-time/overtime housewife.  Or stay-at-home mom.  Or domestic engineer.  Or whatever you want to call it.

As I mentioned in my post, “Have Women Got it Wrong? ”, it’s been a source of great internal conflict, having to abandon my young children every morning, and be somewhat on the sidelines in these precious, formative years of their lives.

But now, my husband has become part of that 0.3% reduction in unemployment that’s had everyone hopping, and thus we have the opportunity to untie the rather grotesque knot that’s been created by two years of us being “modern” in our role reversals.  Neither of us were truly happy in those roles; our minds were open, but our hearts and wills betrayed us.  Judging by the amount of women at my work who expressed genuine congratulations to my “career move”, I would say we are not alone.

I know that many mothers are very happy in their full-time careers.  I salute them.  I am not one of them.  Many see a transition like mine from skyscrapers to Sesame Street as a step down… I see it as a step up.  While I once dreamt of spending my days travelling the world, doing daring deeds, and influencing many, I now dream of the joys of tending a garden, risking everything for my family, and raising my kids to be the kind of grown-ups I can be proud of.

I’m no 50’s wife… I don’t like putting product in my hair, or scrubbing surfaces that already look clean, or hosting a 5-course dinner served on china with people I don’t like.   I don’t like watching soap operas, turning my brain off, or gossiping about celebrities or neighbors.  I will continue writing this blog, hopefully writing a book as well, challenging attitudes and assumptions made throughout our society today, with a writing standard that would make a university professor proud.  I’m not a stereotype – never have been, and never will be.

Both me and my husband have new skills to learn – we are both starting new careers.  Anyone else who would look at it differently, quite frankly, is short-sighted.  For me, I barely know how to cook, sew, or generally how to make-my-own anything.  I’ll need to go to the internet for ideas for productive playtime with the kids, because my ideas are few.  I’ll need to learn how to teach my kids all kinds of skills, from potty training to anger management.  I’m basically untested in how I’ll cope with 24/7 household management.  Like with any new career, there is a mixture of excitement and anxiety in how I’ll fare in my new position.  But I think I’ll do well, because I tend to excel in whatever I want to do.

Sorry, this isn’t a typical post.  I’m not talking about any radical ideas, and society at large has hardly gotten a mention.  However, I often talk about forgoing the things in life that don’t matter, and embracing the things that do.  So in a way, this post is to proclaim that I’m capable of taking my own advice.

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123 comments on “From Skyscrapers to Sesame Street

  1. gingerfightback
    October 16, 2012

    Good luck and enjoy it!

  2. aFrankAngle
    October 17, 2012

    It may not be a typical one of your posts, but it is very real … and most importantly, you. Good luck to all in your family transition! After all, now the kids have to learn Mom’s way! 😉

    • abtwixt
      October 17, 2012

      Thanks for your encouragement! The kids will never see it coming…. 😉

  3. Randel
    October 17, 2012

    Godspeed in your endeavor. Your story is courageous and uplifting. Sunshine in our post modern society. Thank you for sharing this very personal story. You are an excellent writer, and am looking forward to more great posts maybe a little more often.

    • abtwixt
      October 17, 2012

      Thanks Randel, I truly appreciate your encouragement in this and in so much more. I do hope to be able to devote more time to writing, though I suspect that I’m about to have much less free time, as opposed to more. As with so many other things, time will tell!

  4. Ayanna Nahmias
    October 17, 2012

    Congratulations!! One of my closest friends works out of the home. She is raising four lovely children, three of whom she home schooled for the last two years. It is a demanding job that is not given enough credit, but the love that fills her home is palpable.

    I do not have the luxury as a single parent to work out of my home, I have great family support Thank God and I am now self-employed which provides me with greater flexibility. But I recognize that I am the exception and not the norm and it is still challenging.

    I admire the women who both have the opportunity to work out of the home, and are courageous enough to stand up to societal pressure that dictates that women work as hard outside of the home as in. This unyielding lifestyle leaves little time or energy to do either well, with the added ill-effect of having nothing left over for ourselves.

    Be well, Ayanna

    • abtwixt
      October 17, 2012

      Thank you Ayanna! I have great admiration for single parents, and to be honest I don’t really know how you manage to pull it off. I’ve heard the quote “It takes a village to raise a child”, and I think in many ways we’ve lost that in our hyper-independent society… I’m glad that your family is playing such a positive role in your life.

      Being both employee and mom is truly a stress, at a cost to both mother and child. I hate that bills dictate our lives, but the fact is that they do. I know that nothing in life is certain, but at the very least I am grateful for the time I’m about to have.

  5. GP
    October 18, 2012

    Reblogged this on misentopop.

  6. sedeer
    October 18, 2012

    You sound like a great candidate for what will no doubt be a challenging & rewarding job. Tending a home — with all the learning, cooking, cleaning and challenges involved — is something that really appeals to me. Alas, life has taken me in a different direction…for the moment at least.

    Best of luck; I hope you enjoy it!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you! I never really expected life would take me in this direction, but then again if life were that predictable it would be boring 🙂 Good luck in the directions life takes you!

  7. sannekurz
    October 18, 2012

    Mum of two kids, I spend a great deal of my working time abroad. And each time I’m gone I feel all I want is be at home. Letting my loved ones know how things are is actually one of my main reasons to blog.
    But than, back home, sitting in the sun in the garden, I love to look back, skip through images and memories and have a cup of tea over a chat about those times….
    Silly we always want it all, isn’t it?

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the comment Sannekurz… you are absolutely right, we always seem to want what we haven’t got… or even what we haven’t got right now! Ican envy all the time you get to spend abroad at the same time as wanting nothing to do with it right now 😉 Just one more piece of evidence to drive home the point that the world does not exist merely in the black and white.

  8. Ambreen Ali
    October 18, 2012

    some people don’t accept the change. Rather than being content with what they have, they get frustrated when they don’t get what they want. It’s good that you content with the change which is going to come in your life 🙂 good luck!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you Ambreen! You have actually touched on my largest pet peeve: those who complain about something, then refuse to do anything about it, even when offered help!! I hadn’t thought of it til you mentioned it, but I’m glad I’m not being like that! 🙂

      • Ambreen Ali
        October 19, 2012

        yeah you are right, I agree with you. This is because may be people don’t know how to deal with situations, but it’s good your not in this list and you can help people in coping up with these kind of situation 🙂

  9. ttanvi
    October 18, 2012

    I dread I might have to give up my career to look after my children one day. It’s definitely a tough choice, to choose between family and career. Good luck 🙂

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you! I’m sure I’ll need all the luck I can get… it wasn’t an easy decision, despite it being one I desired to make. My head tends to rule my heart, and it was difficult for me to look past the declining numbers in our income and see instead that both of my children were gearing toward the “special needs” category in terms of their development. Everyone’s situation is different and I would never pretend that I am making the right decision for everyone… good luck in your future choices!!

  10. inukshuk
    October 18, 2012

    I’ll be honest: my first impression after reading your first paragraph was one of disappointment. (although the “domestic engineer” had me chuckling – hadn’t heard that one before !)

    I have a hard time understanding people who feel compelled to the traditional roles – working dad, stay-at-home mom – simply because of societal pressures.

    But I must say, your post made me feel that you are really making this transition as a career choice (emphasis on ‘choice’). And if it is what you want to be doing, then it is a great professional success that you are able to accomplish that.

    So congratulations on your promotion! 🙂

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for your honest comment! I must admit, I used to have trouble understanding people who felt compelled to their initial roles as well…. not that I didn’t think it was possible that it was right for them, but I didn’t see it as being right for me. I’ve always been a fiercely independent one. But then, as so many have discovered, love makes fools of us all 🙂 In my case love for some wee ones. I feel a little bit extra justified having convinced others as well 😉

  11. groovylove
    October 18, 2012

    I commend you for your choice! I was a “domestic engineer” myself, and I stayed home with our two kids until both were in school. It’s not for everyone, and it’s not an option for everyone either. It always amazed me that some people had the gall to say, “I just don’t know how you do it staying at home, I’d be so bored!”. If only they knew, when they leave to go to their job for the day, their house stays exactly the way they left it; not true when you are chasing those little ones around… in your own home. It’s a lot of work to stay at home, in fact, it’s exhausting a lot of the time. But it is also the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself, and your family. I wouldn’t change a thing. Congrats on your career move, AND… Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the comment and the encouragement! I am anticipating comments like the ones you got… though to be honest, it was much worse for my husband. I don’t think most people can really get their head around the idea of a male “domestic engineer”. In our case, it was not really by choice, and so we are grateful to be back “on track”, but seriously the condemnation he received was shocking! Thanks for the congratulations — I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a bit overwhelmed with delight to find out!!

  12. Crazy irish Poet
    October 18, 2012

    Wow, I can’t think of a better way to inspire your little ones, We lived int he middle of nowwhere in ireland growing up in constant recession with 20% mortgage rates but that did not stop my parents doing what you are doing, My mum worked from home dressmaking whilst also looking after us and brought us to work to meet clients ,etc, we loved it,My Dad also when he was made unemployed started his own forestry business and brought us along to muck in….To this day i am inspired by what they did and try my best to work at home and be with my boys and bring them on location with me if it is appropriate. Thanks for your blog, I found it inspiring ;0)

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for your story… I find stories like that of your parents more inspiring than my own 🙂 But, like you parents, it is going to take a bit of rolling up of the sleeves to make this transition work out for us financially. Thankfully (in a way), we had the foresight to move into a low-rent area full of others who are struggling in different ways to get by. I refuse to make financial ladder-climbing my goal that comes before that of the well-being of my children…. and I have to constantly remind myself that the two are not the same!!

      • Crazy irish Poet
        December 14, 2012

        I could not agree more, they are more precious than treasure, more important than our ambitions, without a doubt , I really hope it all works out for you and in years to come your story could be a case study for others on how we should be inspiring our little ones ;0)

  13. petalsandsepals
    October 18, 2012

    Lovely post ! i can most certainly identify with your choice , because i went through the same transition myself , many eons ago . I quit a job to raise my two kids who have turned out to be super intelligent and lovely human beings . They respect me for that , and I have absolutely no regrets for taking that step . And I hate people who say condescendingly ,” Oh , you are just a homemaker ? ” . To those , I have to say that being a mother and Homemaker put together is a 24 x 7 , & 365 day job without any respite . But the results are absolutely worth it . The moments that you spend with your child are the most precious ones in your Life , and you may miss out on them , if you work outside the home . So please do not have any doubts or misgivings . Go ahead and forge that lifelong bond with your child !!!!!!!!!!!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for the encouragement!! I know that I am not alone… my mother too was a stay-at-home mom, and I have no doubt that it contributed to me and my brother’s success. This is not to say that the children of working parents are doomed to failure… but for me personally, I am grateful to be able to end the agony of wanting to be a good mom AND a good employee, and always feeling like I fall short of both.

  14. bublibeauty
    October 18, 2012

    lovely . Good luck ! & Keep smiling 🙂 🙂

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you bubbly — and same to you!! 🙂

  15. andasfortoday
    October 18, 2012

    ‘forgoing the things in life that don’t matter, and embracing the things that do.’ is my favourite line from this post, that is the most important thing to happiness, congrats on your move from the sky scrapper! 🙂

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the comment — I’m glad you liked it! Its often tempting to pack our lives full of things that don’t actually matter if you take the time to think it through… I hope you’re able to embrace all the right things in you life 🙂

      • andasfortoday
        October 19, 2012

        That’s very sweet, I hope I am able to embrace all the right things to! 😀

  16. A. Stoltman
    October 18, 2012

    Oh the joys that await you. I’ve had a few tough, stressfull jobs, like many. But nothing compares to to being a stay at home mom. Not many can do it and do it well, dedicate themselves, their lives to their children forever. Because forever you will be momma, the most priceless title in the world.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks A.! I have long admitted that my husband had a tougher job at home than I did at the office… but I didn’t take on Sesame Street to get to Easy Street! 😉

  17. karenspath
    October 18, 2012

    Congratulations on the opportunity to be in the “overtime” position of stay at home mom. The “pay” may be no existent but the love and the bonds you forge will be worth it! Great post!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks Karenspath! I got an even better surprise when I found out that my new job starts today 🙂 Thanks for the comment and encouragement!

  18. countrykaren
    October 18, 2012

    As a product of a stay at home Mom, I think you are on the right path. I’ve worked with so many women that are juggling all the hats and if they had 2 seconds to sit back and see their life, changes would be made. We have forgotten how to get quality of life and how to live that life. I see a difference in young people that had the blessing of a full time Mom. Thank you for taking time to teach a child about life.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for your comment and your encouragement Karen! I too am a product of a woman who decided to stay at home with our kids… and I can’t deny the results! 😉 Before I had kids I would never have imagined that I would make a choice like this, but those young, curious faces have some serious sway! I am so grateful for this opportunity, and intend to make the best of it 🙂

  19. Randel
    October 18, 2012

    I cannot find the daily freshly pressed page any longer? What am I doing wrong? Do you have the link to that page?

      • Randel
        October 18, 2012

        thank you.

        • Randel
          October 18, 2012

          Awesome to see your post there on that page. You need to capture the image with some screen capture program. Very cool. You made it through some very difficult screening critieia. Congratulations again. But given your writing strength, it does not surprise me they found you.

          But now the dark side of the force may start calling you. Some one will really like your writing ability and want you to come work for them.

          • abtwixt
            October 18, 2012

            LOL… so far that’s not happened yet, but if Darth Vater messages me, I’ll keep my head about me 😉 Thanks for the congrats!! I must say I was “tickled pink”

  20. hyunhochang
    October 18, 2012

    I think what it comes down to is that we need to follow what is good for our families and what makes us happy. Society tells us today that women *should* want careers and that men *should* want a similarly non-traditional lifestyle. Frankly, that’s just as silly as telling all women that they *should* stay home while all the men work.

    Each person and each family will have an optimal arrangement which works best for them. It doesn’t matter what society expects, or approves of, or disapproves of, or whether it’s ‘progressive’ or not. What really matters is that the choices you make as spouses and parents WORK and bring joy into your life.

    In the end, what matters besides that?

    Besides, in my opinion, there is nothing more important for a parent than his or her children.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for your comment! It’s true, we can get so mixed up in society’s expectations that we neglect the lost art of introspection… what is it that truly gives us meaning and purpose? Of course, some meaning and purposes are hard to fulfill without a roof over our heads, so balance must be struck 🙂 How grateful I am to be living in a society where we are free to find these things out for ourselves!

  21. lsurrett2
    October 18, 2012

    Best of luck to you!

  22. A Gracious Life
    October 18, 2012

    The transition is not going to be easy but the fulfillment ahead will make all the challenges worthwhile. => wishing you the best!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the encouragement! All the best to you as well 🙂

  23. segmation
    October 18, 2012

    I 123 Sesame Street agree with you!

  24. beadstork
    October 18, 2012

    I have been fighting to retire in my forties because my job stresses me out so badly, but my husband is terrified that he can’t support us. I would love to spend more time with our daughter, who has grown to seven years old with a mom who is barely home. I salute your brave decision!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      I understand where you’re coming from! It was that sort of fear that kept us in our upside-down situation for two years… it wasn’t until an opportunity finally presented itself that allowed my husband a bottom run on a promising career ladder that we were willing to take the jump. I hope that you and your husband are able to find a solution you’re comfortable with! Thanks for commenting 🙂

  25. TAE
    October 18, 2012

    This will make me sound like a broken record to the people who know me, BUT you are the protagonist and director of your life, you write the story.
    Good luck for whatever you want to do!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the encouragement! So often it seems like life is being dictated against our will, but you’re right that sometimes we have to claim ownership for whatever “happens”.

  26. mostlysanemamas
    October 18, 2012

    Great post! Our generation was raised believing that we can have it all, but it’s much harder to pull off in practice. Good luck and enjoy your time with your children! It’s time you can’t ever get back.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      My sentiments exactly! 🙂 Thank you for the encouragement!

  27. hcfbutton
    October 18, 2012

    I am challenged by your post, by your “change in career”, but I think its important to note, that you incorporate the other work you do into your definition of stat-at-home mom. As a person who works full time, and writes in the rest of her time (I don’t know what I’ll do if we have kids) I know what work is like. You will be working on other projects, like the book you’re planning. So I’ll be very interested to see if you redefine your role as full-time Sesame Street, when you’re in fact working on side projects like books (that I assume will help you get some additional income).

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the comment — you’re quite right that my experience as a full-time professional person is likely to influence how I approach my Mom career! Between that more-than-full time job, and side projects like my writing, I anticipate being very busy… much busier than I was at “work”. If you have kids, I imagine your personality that leads you to want to stay busy will remain, but you’ll find your priorities rearranging themselves… that’s my experience anyway 🙂

  28. bakedmoviereviews
    October 18, 2012

    Congrats on your career change. I really enjoyed this post! It’s very well-written.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you so much! I’m glad that you enjoyed it… I’ve been truly overwhelmed by the response!!

  29. Kris F
    October 18, 2012

    Congratulations! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts in your “new” career. Love your kids and look forward to their own “steps toward the future” and you’ll do a fabulous job. I posted a look at parenting from the other side. penpaperandprose.com Enjoy!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for your comment and encouragement! I’ll have to check it out once I can grab a few moments 🙂

  30. sportsandthecross
    October 18, 2012

    Congrats!! What a wonderful post, thank you for sharing!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you very much!! Glad you enjoyed 🙂 I never thought that my situation would resound with so many

  31. aFrankAngle
    October 18, 2012

    I enjoy seeing that I commented before the onslaught! Congratulations!!!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Haha, and you deserve the insider’s advantage!! Your encouragement to me in my early bloggin days were and have been invaluable.

  32. AskTina4Advice
    October 18, 2012

    I wish you all the luck in the world for your full time performer of all duties while standing on one foot and feeding the baby with one hand and balancing a dirty diaper on the other. It’s a fun adventure and each day is different. Your little one will grow right before your eyes.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for the comment and your encouragement! I can’t wait 🙂

  33. Worldly Girl turned Mom
    October 18, 2012

    I’m on the other side of the fence – staying at home now but looking to go back to work. Thanks for the great post. I’ll be staying tuned to hear how the transition goes for you. Best of luck!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      That transition is at least as hard! I hope all goes well for you 🙂

  34. fireandair
    October 18, 2012

    I hope you realize that a BIG part of why those big, bad feminists had problems with women being SAHMs was because it would leave women at the financial mercy of another human being in a very, very, private and immediate way. I’ve never been in that position — I’m one of the women who “got it right,” at least according to that article and hence I don’t count as “women” in its title. I’m all-career-all-the-time, no husband or kids, and at 46, I’m happy with my choice. I don’t function well as a cautionary tale.

    But talk to a woman not in that position who turned 50 and got divorced or her husband died, and who suddenly had to make her own money, and see if it’s some abstract bagatelle about fulfillment from baking cupcakes or something. It’s human survival, and it is never a good idea to rely THAT totally on another person as an adult. It’s not a matter of some abstract societal philosophy. It’s simply damned dangerous. It’s not the feminists that made upper and middle-class women feel bad when they learned too late that he who makes the gold makes the rules, and that you are one affair or accident away from destitution when you stay home. SAHMs have to stop obsessing over people “making” them feel guilty when what people are trying to do is warn them that they are taking very profound risks with their welfare and that of their kids by not earning their own living.

    For me, the women in my family worked because they had to — we were this strange subspecies of humans known as “poor.” These navel-gazing masturbatory whinges about What It Means To Be a *W*O*M*A*N* are not part of the landscape for many to most of us. It’s more what it means to be an adult human being, and that means earning a living.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks for your comment and your fresh perspective! I apologize if I came across as condemning the idea of working women/mothers across the board — this was a personal tale of my experience, and for me personally I found it agonizing to have to balance my career and my kids. And as you pointed out, I have many reasons to be grateful that, if needed, I have the education, experience, and opportunity to re-enter the workforce, and it is a series of feminist movements that made that all possible. For now, I am very grateful for the time I have to devote my attention to the little loves in my life — a venture that I never thought I’d cherish before they turned my world upside-down. I appreciate your honesty and am glad you felt you could share another point of view here!

  35. Curly Bug
    October 18, 2012

    Great post and perspective on what you know you are not…”a 50’s housewife…” (me either!) and what you are.. “ready to feel like you are not falling short.”

    Be kind to yourself during this transition, all the expectations and visions of how you think it will be, many will come true but, most will come true in a way you didn’t envision. That is the beauty of committing to being there 24/7, seeing your children’s growth (intellectual and actual). With growth comes growing pains for all of you but those challenges also make the good moments REALLY great!
    I have had the opportunity to be home with my boys for 5 years and I am only now really able to see through the fog. I have worked hard to find more balance for me, find ideas and adventures we can do together. The more I let go, have compassion for me in the moment/emotion/situation when I feel overwhelmed, ask myself “what do I want”, be me without judgement or fear of how others view my choices, the stronger and more capable I feel. This is different for everyone…enjoy this new chapter/journey and I look forward to reading more about you and your family.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for your insight and encouragement! I certainly know that this isn’t the ‘easy road’, but to be honest the easiest roads are always the most boring ones 😉 Thank you for sharing your experience, I wish all the best for you and your boys!

  36. A Londoner from Afar
    October 18, 2012

    Good luck!! Congrats on being freshly pressed.

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you, and thank you again! 🙂 I feel unworthy but honored.

  37. SydneyJoTo
    October 18, 2012

    My mom always says that staying at home with her chick-a-dees was the best decision she ever made. (Topping marrying Mr. Daddy)

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thanks, and I hope to be able to say the same one day! 🙂

  38. kthorpe
    October 18, 2012

    This. Is. Awesome! I know so many moms who wanted to be home with their kids so much– many of them have made big sacrifices financially and all to do so. It’s wonderful that you’re able to, as well. It’s really hard, but so rewarding.
    –a fellow stay-at-home-non-stereotypical-mom

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Haha, thanks for your encouragement and camaraderie! It was a big financial sacrifice for us as well, but it’s hard to put a price on your kids. Us non-stereotypes need to huddle up and band together! 😉

  39. Piper George
    October 18, 2012

    I am lucky – I have (in my opinion) the best of both worlds. I work from home, so I have my ‘grown up’ time and earn my own money, which is important to me. But I also choose my hours and get to be home with my kids before and after school, and on days when Kid 2 is not at nursery.
    Oh – and if you find any great ideas for playing with the kids, feel free to share them. I still haven’t worked it out!

  40. Etol Bagam
    October 18, 2012

    I love your post. Maybe because I can relate to it. I’m a mom of 2 who has a full-time job. I’m not sure if I would like to be a full-time mom at home, because I think I’d go crazy being with the kids all day long every day. But I must say that ever since they were born, I simply don’t care much about my job. Not to mention having a carrer (although I think I never really cared about having a carrer anyways…). Currently my idea of an ideal job would be a part time, maybe at home, so I could have more and better times with the kids, not still have a life out of the housewifing world. Someday I may find that job… Good luck on your new carrer!

    • abtwixt
      October 18, 2012

      Thank you for your comment and thoughts! I can definitely relate. I’ve read studies before that mothers polled happiest with part time jobs, as opposed to full-time household management or full-time career. This is of course not to say that women can’t be happy in any of the above situations, but I thought you might find it interesting that there are others with similar thoughts to yours 🙂 I wish you the best in your career(s)!

  41. Mei
    October 18, 2012

    Good luck on your transition…I wish you well! 🙂

  42. Ann Sales
    October 19, 2012

    Thanks for sharing! It’s so honest. I can relate well to your post. I’m barely a few months into transition, too – from a carefree lifestyle, that is single to married. I’m both excited and anxious with the thought of starting a family.
    Here’s wishing you all the best in your new career! =)

    • abtwixt
      October 19, 2012

      Thank you for your honesty as well Ann! Your transition is also one of much excitement and much anxiety… I recall my first year of marriage being the hardest. Hang in there — life’s challenges tend to be the most rewarding 🙂

  43. marymtf
    October 19, 2012

    I did begin a response, but I think I just had a computer glitch. So here goes again. I liked your post. (as opposed to ‘like'(d) your post. I did try but something happened there also). It’s hard these days for women to combine what’s right for them with what’s right for their children. My nephew was a househusband in those formative years because his wife was the big earner in that family. It was a mutual decision. Both loved the role reversal.
    In the interests of the child are buzzwords used by the familylaw court here (Australia). As a grandma belonging to a previous era can I just say you’re doing the right thing. You could place your children in day care and keep going, but then somebody else raising your children would defeat the purpose of having them in the first place

    • abtwixt
      October 19, 2012

      Thank you for your comment and experience! As a brand-new mother I was actually quite frightened of the idea of quitting work and staying at home… To be honest, I think expectations of a stay-at-home mother go way up, and appreciation goes way down, in comparison to “work”. Me and my husband made the same mutual decision for the same reason as your nephew. It is funny how easily changed the will can be!

      • marymtf
        October 19, 2012

        There’s no parenting school to teach us mums what to do, every young mum feels as you do. Glad to give you some support. I made my mind up long ago that mine were the only expectations that counted. I mean, it’s just another gig, isn’t it? You’re a daughter, a wife, a mother and a professional. Who knows what notches you’re going to add to your CV as time goes by. 🙂

  44. zestylifeofguma
    October 19, 2012

    I am so excited for you and I wish you thee absolute best in this new season of your life. Well done you for doing what your heart desires. I am really so excited and this post kinda gives me hope of what I still have to look forward to… challenges and all.

    • abtwixt
      October 19, 2012

      Thank you for your comment and encouragement! Children are one of life’s greatest challenges and one of its greatest rewards. Best of luck to you and whatever may come ahead!

  45. TheWordpressGhost
    October 19, 2012

    I talk with women all the time about the oddity of modern lifestyles. And it strikes me … why are young women, girls, and mothers subjected to the constant commentary about being productive members of society.

    Mothers have been productive throughout history.

    I live in Ukraine. And Ukrainian women cannot believe many American women choose work over family.

    And they all say, “Well of course I would work outside the home if my husband did not make so much money. But, the children are important.”

    Congratulations. You will receive many more rewards from your children than you did from your work.

    ghost.

    • abtwixt
      October 19, 2012

      Thank you very much for your comment and insight! It is so easy to accidentally view the world too narrowly, and I am always interested to hear another perspective from elsewhere in the world. I like your line, “Women have always been productive.” I think sometimes today productivity and success are wrapped up in money. As a working mother, I liked the appreciation that I received for being “productive” in this sense, but it did not make me happy. Being there to raise my children — I think this will make me happy. Thanks for your encouragement.

  46. TheWordpressGhost
    October 19, 2012

    Reblogged this on thewordpressghost and commented:
    Everyone,

    A modern woman blogs about her choice to leave main street to become a ‘stay at home’ mother.

    Not an easy choice.

    But, I talked with women around the world talk about the desire for motherhood versus modernity’s programming women to believe they are just part of the workforce.

    what do you think?

    ghost.

  47. Red Toenails
    October 19, 2012

    You go girl! Do dat doggone thang! Moms rule!

  48. a renaissance man
    October 19, 2012

    As for cooking and stuff like that may I recommend, Youtube… Enjoy this new journey!

    • abtwixt
      October 19, 2012

      Haha, yes, I think that YouTube and I may get very well acquainted 🙂 Thanks for the recommendation!

  49. PrettyGee
    October 19, 2012

    I think being a full time housewife is such the hardest job. Goodluck!

    • abtwixt
      October 19, 2012

      I agree! Thanks for the comment! 🙂

  50. jlsalinger
    October 19, 2012

    Good for you. Enjoy!

  51. luciustheninja
    October 19, 2012

    It is so frustrating that we often disparage the role of the mom at home. If we assume that a woman has to be working outside the home to be successful, aren’t we just demeaning the role of the parent often taken on by women? I personally am not a super nurturing woman, but I think that if you would like to stay home that is your decision, and a good one. Stay at homes need more credit. It is just as hard a job as any and I wish it would be recognized as such. Great post!

    • abtwixt
      October 20, 2012

      Thanks for the comment and the encouragement! I am pretty certain that the lack of respect for the stay-at-home role is tied up with our ideas of “success”. For a role that has no income, no opportunity for promotion, needs no degree or qualifications, I think it goes against every measure of success we usually use.

  52. suchwildlove
    October 19, 2012

    Good for you! Have fun!

  53. normapadro
    October 19, 2012

    Great success in being a housemother. It’s the hardest job ever, but mothers do it best. 🙂

    • abtwixt
      October 20, 2012

      Thanks! 🙂 I appreciate the encouragement!

  54. chiclygreen
    October 19, 2012

    Good luck with your new role! I think you’ll enjoy learning how to make-your-own-whatevers and discovering the joy (and sometimes extreme misfortune) of cooking. I look forward to following your journey!

    • abtwixt
      October 20, 2012

      Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂 Now to find the time to write another post 😉

  55. logan607
    October 21, 2012

    As a newly married man (just over a year) my wife and I talk a lot about the roles we will have to play some day. Right now, it’s still not concrete but we’ve both been really supportive what the other needs and wants and are hoping that, when the time comes for us to have kids, that we’ll have figured it out by then.

    Thanks for the post!

    • abtwixt
      October 22, 2012

      Thanks for the comment, Logan! I sometimes wonder where the line is drawn between letting things happen naturally (my usual inclination), and “taking the bull by the horns”, as it were. I think you and your wife deciding what roles to take in all facets of your life together will also fall somewhere between the two. Being supportive of one another is definitely key — good luck in all your future endeavors!

  56. Ingrid
    October 22, 2012

    No regrets….I stayed home when the kids were little. Hubby was even mister mom for a six month period. Best thing. Embrace this new chapter….the kids grow up so quickly, enjoy it!

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