Doing things differently since 1984
Friendly reminder: In case you haven’t heard, if you’re currently in America, the clocks go forward (the one where you lose an hour of sleep) this weekend! The rest of you… your time will also come.
But, wait — did you ever wonder why? I mean, aside from the obvious need to keep on schedule with everyone else… why does everyone else go along with this ridiculous ritual every year? Is it something to do with agriculture? Energy conservation? Diabolical scheme to keep people out of church Sunday morning?
The answer is none of the above — it’s shopping. Shopping, mixed with a healthy dose of the unavoidable human desire to keep doing this year what was done last year.
Which… I’m no Marxist, but as I continue to learn more about the world, I’ve noticed this unsettling truth where, regardless of anyone’s personal beliefs, the actual designated meaning of our lives is to buy things. You can’t buy happiness, but we would all be jobless if we didn’t keep trying. Society would crumble instantly.
So, fair enough. We rupture the very rhythm of time in order to get shaken down a bit longer every day for loose change. No big deal. Hey, since the longer daylight makes it tougher for parents to put their kids to bed every night, it probably boosts alcohol sales as well. And in the summer, when it doesn’t get dark until 10:00 or later — I’m pretty sure my caffeine consumption goes up. I’m all about contributing.
But it’s the term itself that really gets to me. Daylight Savings. I have a savings account — it doesn’t hold daylight. You can’t put daylight in storehouses and share it out when there is a daylight famine. If we’re going to mount a campaign to save Daylight like a precious resource, do it in the winter time, when daylight is less plentiful. I wouldn’t mind shifting time so that I don’t drive home in the dark after work in December. Don’t tell me “Daylight Savings” in any way saves daylight.
Of course, we could just permanently switch to Daylight Savings time, but then it would have to be called Standard time, since it’d be the only time, and we’d have to go back and dub all the old Westerns to say “High One”, since noon wouldn’t be the point when the sun is highest in the sky. It’s a good thing we can buy clocks, rather than relying on making our own sundials.
The point is, this whole Daylight Savings thing is a completely ridiculous sham — everything about it. But I can’t just be an hour behind everyone else for 8 months out of the year, so, begrudgingly, I will dutifully set my clocks forward on Saturday night. I might miss church though.