Doing things differently since 1984

Morning sir, can I buy some happiness?

I went to a convenience store (also known as a corner shop) this morning for a drink, and noticed an interesting theme about the offerings there.  I figured I could tell you the rest of the story in a boring, straightforward way; or, I could do it in Drama form!  I’d like to note that I in no way mean to judge or belittle convenience store clerks, owners, or customers.  I have no doubt that convenience stores play a very important role in our society, and we’d all be worse off without them.

Now, you can sit down, and wait for the curtain to open… (Don’t worry, this isn’t exactly Shakespeare)



SCENE: An average convenience store/corner shop.  A cheery clerk behind the counter. 

ENTER a rather despondent looking customer.  The door goes “BING” as it opens.  The customer looks around briefly before going right up to the clerk.

CLERK: Good morning, how may I help you?

CUSTOMER: Uhh, yes, morning sir, can I buy some happiness?

CLERK: Happiness!  Oh, well you’ve come to the right place!  We have an impressive range of Happiness products here, you can take your pick!  We are well stocked in sweets and comfort foods to satisfy your cravings and calm your emotional distress; cigarettes and tobacco to ease your stress; an ever-widening range of caffeinated products to ease your ever-growing fatigue; lottery tickets to grant you a moment of hope; alcohol to help you forget your troubles; newspapers and magazines to help you feel you are combatting your ignorance… and all of these at prices low enough that anyone, regardless of income, can feel empowered with the choice to buy it!

CUSTOMER: That is a rather impressive range of products.  But tell me, none of that Happiness will last, will it?

CLERK: Not a single one!

CUSTOMER: Oh, I see.  Well then…. *grabs several products, and places them on the counter along with some cash*…  I guess I’ll see you tomorrow!

CLERK: See you tomorrow!

CUSTOMER exits, looking much happier.  The door goes “BING” as he leaves.  CLERK whistles merrily and puts the cash away.



4 comments on “Morning sir, can I buy some happiness?

  1. aFrankAngle
    March 26, 2014

    Ah yes … Cha ching …. the happiness of the sale.

  2. Princess Laila
    April 3, 2014

    And that’s why we keep going back…

    • abtwixt
      June 18, 2014

      Impossible (and sometimes not worth it) to resist!

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